Tis the Season to Be Tempted

How is everyone coping with the delicious treats that surround us during the Christmas Season?  At my workplace many high-calorie treats are within my reach.  A lot of my co-workers bring in baked assorted Christmas cookies, Christmas fudge with nuts, the largest box of chocolates I've ever seen in my life, peppermints, and the list goes on and on.  Tomorrow morning our Supervisors are catering a staff breakfast for everyone, which will include many healthy and not so healthy items.

I have made a mindful decision to continue to drink my shake in the morning, a hard-boiled egg for a snack, and a small salad for lunch.  Even though the temptation is right under my nose, (literally right next to me), I have not touched a cookie, a candy, or the fudge!  I'm very happy with my decision not to indulge!!!! Tomorrow morning at the staff breakfast, I will be too busy to step into the room filled with many different varieties of food, which is a blessing in disguise!  I have a pack of gum inside my desk and chew it whenever I feel the need to chew.  I always keep a pack of gum in my purse, and wherever I go I always have gum handy.  It helps me get through the day!  I also have been drinking a lot of water since there are many people around me with bronchitis, colds, and other contagious ailments that I don't want to become infected with  as a result of not sleeping and eating poorly.

It's not easy to be around all of these treats, and many people eat a lot during the Christmas celebrations, but I'm choosing to remain faithful since my addiction to food will always be with me throughout my life.  I know that if I have a candy, I will not be able to control myself.  It will signal me to have another and another and another until the box is empty!  I know if I begin to eat a cookie, I will not be able to stop at one.  I'll have to have at least five or six.  Why torture myself and my body?  I cannot afford to hurt myself anymore.  I feel proud of my decision to turn away from the temptations, and as a result, I'll be better off in the long run.  My self-awareness is very strong right now, and I'm grateful that it's keeping me honest.

Stay true to your journey and you'll be happy you did!

Linda Hegedus, ©

Feeling Grateful

Thanksgiving will be here soon.  It's a day to be grateful and thankful for all of our blessings bestowed upon us.  Many people in our lives are saddened when the holidays come since their loved ones may no longer be with them in celebration.  There are many poor and homeless people who are alone and hungry.  As most of us are blessed and remain very thankful and grateful, we can lend a helping hand to those who are in need of love, kindness, comfort, or a good home-cooked meal and a warm place to sit at the table.

Let our hearts be open, and pray for those who require assistance at this time.  Let our souls give unconditional love and support to others as we celebrate this day of harmony and togetherness with one another.  On this special day we remember that we were given support, love, and caring when we needed it the most during our personal journey.  As we sit with our family and friends, we enjoy and cherish the time spent with the people who mean the most to us.   We cannot focus on all of the food that's prepared, but only eat enough to satisfy our hunger.  There's many foods that we can enjoy that are healthy and nutritious.  Turkey is high in protein and very filling.  Sweet potatoes contain many nutrients and vitamins.  Green beans, peas and carrots, or broccoli also are rich in calcium and rich in vitamins.  How about dessert?  Make or bring your dessert.  Prepare a low-calorie gelatin dessert, which is good with low calorie cool whip on top. A fruit salad is also tasty with pineapple, strawberries, blueberries, and some mango to give it great color.

It's a challenge to celebrate this day as it's known to be quite a feast.   We should plan ahead on what we're going to eat; here are some suggestions.  If you're at home, or bringing a dish, prepare an appetizer filled with raw carrots, celery, raw mushrooms, cauliflower, and peppers.  For the dip you can bring three different types of hummus.  There's a great roasted pepper flavor, or garlic flavor, or a spicy flavor for variety.  We can enjoy the celebration and remain true to our journey.  If you're a guest, request a smaller dinner plate to eat on so you don't pile on too much food.  Also drink water instead of soda, wine, or any other beverage that will contain a lot of calories.  Once we begin to feel full, stop!  Continuing to eat may ruin your day and the feeling of being uncomfortable will remain with you for hours to come.

May all of you have a happy, healthy, and safe Thanksgiving.  Peace and Love to all.

Linda Hegedus, ©

 

A Lot Can Change In A Day!

 

As Esther Phillips sang, “What a Difference a Day Makes” 24 little hours ….Yes one day can make all of the difference!  Did you ever eat a food item that contained too much sugar, and consumed a larger than normal amount, that you ended up craving more sugar?  It’s a vicious cycle of wanting, needing, and feeding that old addiction to what we used to crave the most.  It's what satisfied our inner-being, or so we thought.  I found myself wanting and craving something sweet.  Although, I must confess that I did indulge in a temporary moment of weakness and enjoyed the moment.  As I began to eat something sweet and savoring the taste and the feeling it gave me; it was as if I was taking a drug that made me feel comfortably numb.

Comfortably numb on food, that is…. The high didn’t last long, and like any addict, all I wanted to do was sleep it off.  It felt like I was buzzed on sugar.  It began with the first piece of candy, which led to another piece, and yet another piece of delicious candy.  I felt the old me coming out for a while, and in the moment of this feeling, I was aware that my old behavior was beginning to emerge.  If just for that moment…. I felt free and naughty at the same time.  I knew what the consequences were going to be if I continued, but it didn’t stop me from doing this to myself.  I justified this behavior as I was good for so long, and always stayed true to my routine, but just having that sugar led to becoming out of control until I felt like vomiting.  I was intoxicated with sugar.  My pants began to tighten up, and my feet and hands began to swell.  I was so doped up on sugar that when I walked upstairs to my bedroom, my head was pulsating very hard as if I was going to have a stroke.

I know what I’ve done and was afraid, but as a drug addict or an alcoholic reacts to their demise, they sleep it off.  That’s exactly what I did was sleep it off.  When I woke up the next morning, I felt a little off, disconnected, and physically very tired.  It was as if I had a hangover from the indulgence of partaking to the sweets and treats.  I realized that old part of me which I thought was buried for good, came out and will always be silently sitting within me.  Just like a drug addict that takes that drug for the first time after being clean for so long, they want more and more, or the alcoholic who’s been sober for years and slips into having a drink, and realizes they can’t stop.  I felt that way as well with eating high carbs, which led me to wanting sugar!!!!

 

After taking a long and hard look at myself, and what this habit would do to me long-term, I said to myself I cannot do this anymore.  I was mortified that I explored that area, and thought that aspect of my being was long gone, but when it resurfaced, I knew it would always be a part of who I was but not who I am now.  It’s almost 5.5 years out from my RNY Gastric Bypass surgery, and the dumping syndrome was apparent, but it seems as the years pass by, it’s not nearly as prominent.  This week I’ve been back to my healthy lifestyle, which includes my supplements, and eating an all organic plant-based diet, in addition to drinking 74 ounces of water; and walking for ½ hour of five laps around the track, which is one mile and a quarter.  Since this weekend was mild outdoors, I rode my bike on the trails as well. 

 

“What a Difference a Day Makes”, 24 little hours came to my mind when I seen my pants are already loose, and the excess fluids were flushed out from my inflamed body caused by the extreme sugar intake.  My mind is clear once again, and I feel energized!  My hands and feet are not swollen, and my head is not pounding.  Thankfully I got back on track immediately and realized in one day you can turn it all around for the better!

Linda Hegedus, ©
 

Welcoming the Fall

Now that the Fall season is here, it’s a great time to enjoy the beautiful foliage that surrounds us, especially if you live in the Northeast.   There’s so much to do with your family and friends.  Many towns provide Fall festivals with activities such as apple, pumpkin, and berry picking; as well as walking through a corn maze and enjoying a scenic hay ride.

Perhaps you’re decorating your home with bright and colorful mums to create a Fall theme to last well into late November.  There are also many Fall craft fairs to attend and community walks for a cause that you may want to become involved with to serve and feel you’re making a difference in a person’s life.   The rails to trails are throughout the state and offer not only beautiful picturesque walks, but also an enjoyable bike ride that gives just the right amount of exercise you require for the day.

Winter will be here before you know it, so you don’t want to miss out on what this beautiful time of year has to offer.  Get outside, beautify your living space for the upcoming festivities, and connect with your community.  Most of all enjoy the season!

Linda Hegedus

The Good I Do Today Will Pay Off Tomorrow

 

There may be days when you ask yourself did I do enough today that was beneficial to my new lifestyle?  As some of you know who are maintaining your weight, it's often a challenge to attend events that accompany many food items and may defeat our daily routine.  When I was morbidly obese, I used to observe and then ask thin people what were they eating to be the size they were, and I often received many different answers.  For some thin people they ate whatever they wanted and never exercised.  That used to baffle me and I couldn't understand how and why this happened?  The obvious answer is that their genetic make up gave them a "free pass" but for many of these thin people, their health issues were not obvious by looking at their appearance.  One man had cholesterol issues and his numbers were well over 400.  So as the old cliché goes, looks can be deceiving.

Other people who were thin indicated that they had a glass of wine every day, and watched what they ate, and walked every day after dinner.  Then there were thin people who told me they would be obese if they didn't watch the amount of calories they were taking in on a daily basis, and exercise was essential to their maintenance program.  I now understand that I am a thin person, who has to watch my caloric intake, and I also have to monitor how much activity I'm doing on a daily basis.  I can very easily become obese again, but the difference is that this time I will not allow the scale to move upward where I cannot realistically get back to basics.  Maintenance is an on-going task that I don't take lightly.  One day you may eat a food item that is not beneficial, but if you get back on track immediately, you've succeeded in not allowing yourself to eat the same way tomorrow and the next day, etc.

That's progress and it's remaining honest with yourself.  We all know that if we turn back to our destructive habits, we will begin to destroy ourselves once again.  We must remain in check every day and monitor ourselves closely.  Making the decision to either give in to a moment of a short-term compulsion, or be pleased with ourselves knowing we cannot do this anymore and we'll only benefit by eating beneficial, healthy, and fat- burning foods, which will provide us with feeling good mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.  We must save ourselves in the moment of temptation and instant gratification we may receive, but remorse will soon follow afterwards.  We've done this too many times in the past and it's never worked out to our advantage.

It's okay to say "no thank you" and it's okay to decline a night out that would be harmful to your health.  As a recovering addict, many relatives and friends of mine wanted to go out and eat, drink, and eat some more and drink some more as well.  I cannot entertain that way of life anymore.  I am strong enough to go out and have a sensible meal and perhaps a cup of coffee, or a tall glass of ice water with lemon, but if our relatives and friends find it frustrating and just downright bored with the idea you're not joining in, that's on them and not on you.  As I'm branching out and expanding my social circles, I'm achieving balance in my life.  Balance is essential for me to remain true and stay on track.  I love and care about my relatives and friends, but I also care about my well-being, and if I have to take care of my needs first, so be it.

I'm not saying that it's a selfish act of what I'm doing, but it's knowing my strengths and weaknesses that lead me in the right direction.  I'm satisfied with my decisions and comfortable enough with myself to enjoy my own company when I need time alone to do what I need to do in order to remain healthy.

Take care of yourself first, and you'll be happy you did!

Linda Hegedus

When Did You Wake Up?

I can recall a time when all that mattered was what I was going to eat that day.  It consumed my mind most of the time just thinking about my next meal, the anticipation and reward I felt at that time.  I knew on a subconscious level I was slowly destroying my body and accepted a life of defeat, hopelessness, and despair.  I had taken my life for granted and cheated death.  I was able to still walk pain free, drive, run errands, these tasks were doable.  Then as each year passed by and I continued to gain weight steadily, I thought if I didn't think about my body and my existence that it would just go away.  I stored every mirror in my home in the attic so I didn't have to see what I've done.

Fourteen years' later I had a wake-up call.  My body finally surrendered...broke down....pain, discomfort, unable to do a simple task for myself.....I woke up.  We had gone up to Maine that weekend and stayed at the Lake, and the full bath downstairs had a full-length mirror.  When I stepped out of the shower,  I couldn't help but see my body up close and personal.  Well, I stepped out of the shower, very carefully since one leg up made my body unstable, and the weight distribution was not evenly proportioned on my body.  When I looked at my body that I haven't seen in many years, I was shocked and saddened by what I had created for myself.  All of those years finally caught up with me by the debilitating pain and lack of overall motion, in addition to a morbidly, cellulite-filled, rash-ridden, person staring back at me.  I was too stunned to cry, and too numb to accept this reflection.  It was so much easier to hide than to face myself.

I thought to myself that if I do lose a lot of weight, my body is going to really become loose since I've apparently stretched my stomach out to the point of drooping over my pelvic area, and my breasts were hanging down and were very heavy to carry as well.  Every part of my body was stretched out and the cellulite was tremendous.  I looked away and from that day on I looked at myself for what I actually done by avoiding the reality of my demise.

I've been maintaining my goal weight for the past five years and play with six pounds depending on the types of food I'm eating that can cause water weight gain.  I can only maintain each day and strive to remain focused on keeping my personal goal in sight.  I've never remained at my goal weight for this amount of time, and I've finally become this close to the half-way mark.  I've made it to the five-year personal milestone.  My long-term goal is for every five years and remaining at my ideal weight, will be a milestone. Perhaps I'll take a trip far away to celebrate.  The longest time in my life that I was able to keep my weight off was going back 20 years ago, and I only lasted 1 year and 11 months.  I didn't quite make the two-year mark, but I am thinking right now, wow, five years.  Something must have changed within me to remain true to myself and this journey.

My skin surprisingly "bounced" back quite well, and I am very grateful since it was looking like there would be no way my skin wouldn't hang.  I worked on strength training a few days per week, in addition to doing an activity that would keep my body in good shape, and my mind occupied on other activities.  It's been working for many reasons.  As I slowly rewired my way of thinking about food, I've turned my attention inward and asked myself what do you want to do today that will give me joy?  I keep myself busy with activities that are physically demanding, but rewarding.  I love to soak in the natural Vitamin D and hydrate all day long.

Every small change you make in the project we'll call us....is a pathway to a different destination with a new beginning.  We look different, and feel different, and are moving towards a new life that we're able to accept because we've slowly walked away from our old beliefs about ourselves, and our old beliefs about food, and our old beliefs about self-destruction.  We answer the why's, and question the what's, and resolve our hearts to receiving love and joy.  We've given most of ourselves away, and there was nothing left for us.  We slowly made time for ourselves, to be with ourselves, and enjoy ourselves.  We have introduced the old with the new and they are coming together to make the best of both worlds.

When we finally find out why, we can tread carefully and not allow our old attitudes and old patterns to emerge.  In recognizing these occurrences is half of the battle.  We know what the cues are, and can deflect the urges, knowing what the true consequences will be.

We're free to do as we wish!

Linda Hegedus, ©

The Key

Many times in our lives, the stressors of life can seem unbearable.   We need to do what it takes to maintain a place of peace within our souls.  The people we're surrounded by that are negative, the workplace politics become chaotic, and the lies told about us others believe.  How much can we take before we feel we're going to break?  Food is no longer an option to turn to when feeling overwhelmed with the challenges we face.  For many of us, even though we are living our personal truth, it's not in sync with the majority who are on the opposite side of the fence.  Are we facing many emotional challenges at once?

Is this a test of our will?  Is this a test of our strength?  Is this a test of our overall well-being?  Will we pass this test and come out a much stronger and humbled person?  Are we being blocked from love and goodness?  How long will this test go on?  How many more opponents are we going to have to rise above and be kind to in return?  How many more times will our opposition try to bring us down to their level?  What shall we do?  Should we pretend to be unhappy to protect ourselves from further attacks of our spirit?  Should we face our fears and speak our truth?  Are we supposed to learn a valuable lesson?  Has this pattern happened over and over throughout our lives?  Do we attract people who don't have our best interest at heart, but are plotting and scheming to take us down?

How will we deal with jealously?  How do we deal with the angry people around us?  How do we deal with adversity?  How do we deal with pretentious people?  How do we know who has our back?  Everyone looks the same?  How do we break the pattern?  Will our belief system change?  Have we lost faith in our fellow man?

ABSOLUTELY NOT!  We will walk through the flames of emotional hell, and reach for the light.  The light will take us to a place of comfort, calmness, tranquility, love, grace, hope, and self-confidence.  When we seek a place of solitude, we can quietly meditate and speak softly to our inner-being.  Ask our questions out loud and patiently and quietly receive our answers.  There's no human being on the face of this Earth that can give us the answers we seek to find.  Our answers come from ourselves.  If we listen closely to what our hearts are telling us in the moment of our personal emotional crisis, we'll hear the answers loud and clear.  We think we don't know the answers, or don't want to hear the truth, but we are true to one person, and that is ourselves.  We cannot lie to ourselves, that would be denial.  We and we alone have the answers.  We and we alone can triumph and be victorious.  We and we alone can overcome anything.  Yes we can!  We have many emotional trials to go through in our lifetime, but we will survive.  We always do and always will!!!!

Look how far we've come from where we were!  We've learned how to accept what comes our way, and decide in that very moment what we'll tolerate and what we will not tolerate.  We hold the key to the door of our future.  With this key we will unlock the door, walk inside, and find a better place for us to be.  We got it!  We finally understand!  We have the life skills, and knowledge to succeed with our lives!  Be proud, be who you really are, and remain optimistic!  We deserve to be respected, we deserve happiness, we deserve love, we deserve goodness in our lives!  We deserve only the best!  We've given so much of ourselves to others with love, kindness, and respect, now it's time to receive.  Receive with a grateful and loving heart.  Love will always keep you strong, love conquers all.  Love and only love will keep us safe!  We are the masters of our destiny!

May Peace and Love Be With You!

 

Linda Hegedus©

The Addiction was Postponing the Inevitable

 

 

Whether we have a food, alcohol, or drug addiction, we tend to believe the illusion of the disease.  It can be quite confusing, but when we see our addiction for what it really is, we begin to understand why the deep-rooted destructive habits of ours got us into a lot of unnecessary painful and hurtful situations.  It's as if we imagined that this way of life was going to give us the necessary postponement of time not to change the way we are, but to "justify" our way of life as a means of coping and getting through life.

We are so grateful for having the chance to clean up our act, and made the decision to change our addictive behavior into a constructive and productive behavior that we will benefit from all the way around.  It's a win-win situation, and even though it's unknown territory, we're looking forward to changing our belief system, our attitudes and feelings about life and those who surround us in our lives.

We begin day by day, week by week, month by month, year by year.  We're climbing to greater heights of self-awareness, self-acceptance, and self-love.  We are our own best friend.  We love ourselves enough to treat ourselves with kindness and compassion, and no matter what outer influences are out there to deter us from our loving soul, we will surpass this with courage, humility, and strength.

The hardest part of leaving our old comfortable mundane lives, is the fear of never being able to turn to our harmful addictions anymore.  The comfort we thought it gave us was just an illusion of happiness.  It was just an illusion of enjoyment, and it was just an illusion of life.

This journey brings sheer joy and freedom to our beings, but also lessons of discipline and a new-found faith and confidence that we can live a good, healthy, and wonderful life with reality and honesty becoming the answer that we often question ourselves with when making a decision to keep ourselves safe from harm.

We're finding our way out of the darkness, climbing out of the depths of despair and hopelessness, to a new and improved outlook that we will hold near and dear to our hearts.  A new light has been ignited within us, and as our light shines upon ourselves and others, the radiance and peace that comes upon us is completeness.

Linda Hegedus, ©

 

In My Mother's Arms

 

A love that has no measure,

Shelter from the harms.

I could live forever

In my mother’s arms.

 

Always understanding

Sharing all of her charms

I know my safe haven

It’s in my mother’s arms.

 

If I could say what she means to me

It would take a thousand years

She showed me all that I can be through laughter, love, and tears.

 

And eternally grateful I will be for the life and memories she’s given me I will forever be

In my mother’s arms.

 

Love you Mom,
 

Elaine

 

 

Setting Boundaries

 

Boundaries were never in my vocabulary.  The physical boundaries were always present by having my shield covering myself in a false sense of security in order to deal with others.  Once my shield disappeared, I began to feel "naked and revealed" for the first time.  It was time to get out of my comfort zone, and move forward into a new place.

As a morbidly obese person, I didn't express my feelings quite often, but instead kept them to myself, where they manifested inside my body and produced self-destructive behaviors.  Such as trance eating, binging, and self-soothing by self-medicating myself in order to feel good in the moment.  The moments began to become more frequent and it took more eating to satisfy my addiction.

Now I'm a thin person that walks the walk and talks the talk.  I am much more approachable, and not afraid to open up to others about how I feel.  There's no more hiding and keeping people at a distance.  I feel completely free and comfortable in my body and realize that it's okay to be open and honest.  These behaviors were under lock and key for so long, it's liberating to set new boundaries that for so long I set on myself to the point I was paralyzed with fear.

There was never anything to fear. In the place of acceptance, not only to myself, but also of others, is a peaceful and soul-satisfying place to be.  It's okay to be who you are, and move forward onto your self-improvement journey.  Quotes are very helpful when you need reflection and peace.  Quotes can give you comfort, inspiration, and motivation on your path, and the wisdom to continue on the path less traveled.

A new world awaits you and it's time to get on board!  The day is here and the time is now!  Go live your life and enjoy the journey!  Take your joy, confidence, and strength with you as your boundaries take on a new meaning.  Live! Enjoy! Love!

Be Well,

 

 

Linda Hegedus ©

With Every Challenge We Become the Person We're Meant to Be

Each day as I live in my new body, I must be held accountable for my actions towards food.  I have to continue to be mindful of my food choices and ask myself three questions: Is this food beneficial?  Does it contain sufficient protein?  Am I really hungry, or just want to eat?

When my journey began, I was losing at a rapid rate due to a high protein, complex carb, and exercise routine.  Now my goal weight has taken me to a stabilizing place, where I must remain in a maintain mode in order to not fall into old ways of thinking and being too much in a comfort zone that I'm not aware of the choices I have to make regarding my food intake.

I have to take in at least 1200 calories per day to maintain.  Every item of food that I choose to eat on that given day will have to be a wise choice, in order not to begin to gain weight like we're told that people fall into that trap.  I cannot imagine nor want to ever experience that feeling of a ball and chain weighing me down.  Taking those 200 additional pounds wherever I go and expecting to have a happy and productive life.

I get preoccupied with weighing myself in the a.m. and also in the p.m.  As a morbidly obese person, I avoided the scale at all costs, and never ever dared myself to step on it and have a reality check on my size.  Instead it was easier to avoid that part of my life, and not pay too much attention to the number that was escalating before my eyes.  Now I want to be held accountable for my weight and in order to stay in check, and know that I'm still abiding by the "bariatric eating" rules, I monitor very closely the scale and make note if there's any adjustment in my daily food intake I need to re-evaluate.

This is by far the biggest mountain to climb in my personal weight-loss journey because I've never learned how to remain in a much thinner body for too long.  I feel a bit uncertain, but confident that if I keep my judgment clear on my choices, and remain mindful on my daily habits, I will remain on this journey as a person who can stay on the path that is non-destructive to my well-being.

I know not every day I will make the right choice, but I will be determined and forgive myself if I decide to have a food that's not very beneficial, I will make up for those calories through an intense workout.  I have decided to choose a day in the week, where I can have a dessert.  But only one day.  The funny thing is that I cannot finish a small bowl of chili and beans with some cheese.  When I was served a dessert, I only took a few bites and I was satisfied.  I'm not indulging like I used to so that's progress.

Every day I'm having a better understanding about myself and taking my steps slowly towards a long-term way of life.

Linda Hegedus, ©

What I've Learned On This Journey So Far

I've learned so much in such a short period of time........

   

I’ve learned to take baby steps and not to be disappointed if my progress is slow.

I’ve learned that my relationships have changed with those who are the closest to me in my life.

I’ve learned that I can accomplish goals and pursue my dreams.

I’ve learned that my life is what I make of it, and not what others think my life should be.

I’ve learned that not everyone is going to support my success, and I will have to be my own best friend.

I’ve learned that my body will let me know when I’ve had enough to eat or drink.

I’ve learned that being thin doesn’t eliminate life’s challenges I must face.

I’ve learned that comfort foods no longer serve me well, but almost destroyed my life.

I’ve learned to focus on the positive in my life and try to eliminate any negative feelings I may have inside.

I’ve learned that opportunities are plentiful with my new appearance and attitude.  Doors that were once closed have cracked opened for me.

I’ve learned to respect my body and take better care of myself.

I’ve learned that this journey is a life-long  journey.

I’ve learned to trust myself and my food choices.

I’ve learned to say no to trigger foods that others want me in indulge in.

I’ve learned that I have to be forgiving and patient with myself.

I’ve learned to be grateful for the second chance I was given to change my life.

I’ve learned that I don’t need approval from anyone but myself.

I’ve learned I can do so much more physically with the excessive amount of weight I’ve lost.

I’ve learned that life is precious.

I’ve learned to be held accountable for my decisions regarding food.

I’ve learned to be kinder to myself and not beat myself up if I make the wrong food choice that day.

I’ve learned to express my feelings openly.

I’ve learned that fear held me back, and there’s nothing to fear.

I’ve learned that meditation relaxes the mind, body, and spirit.

I’ve learned that I’m a sexual being.

I’ve learned that I made this change for a healthier and happier existence.

I’ve learned that anger weakens my body.

I’ve learned that depression is temporary.

I’ve learned that food is vital for survival, but not an all-consuming factor in my life.

I’ve learned to be tolerant of ignorant people, who don’t understand me.

I’ve learned to give more of myself to others.

I’ve learned to create healthy boundaries for myself.

I’ve learned to adapt to my new lifestyle and accept this as a life-long commitment.

I’ve learned that there’s more to life than existing, but living your life is key.

I’ve learned I’m a much more approachable person now than I was before.

I’ve learned to feel vulnerable and not fear the outcome.

I’ve learned to feel again, and not suppress my feelings.

I’ve learned to walk the walk and talk the talk.

I’ve learned to seize the day for tomorrow may never come.

I’ve learned to cherish people in my life, who’ve been loving, caring, and kind to me.

I’ve learned to be compassionate with others fighting their own personal battles.

I’ve learned that I will continue to learn something new every day as my awareness has become keen with time.

Linda Hegedus, ©

 

 

 

 

Never Give Up

I met with a friend of mine, who had weight-loss surgery eight years' ago, and had gained all of their weight back just to become larger than they've ever been before.  I had advised my friend to find out about having a revised surgical procedure done.  They had taken heed to my advice since they've seen how far I've come, and had another weight-loss procedure performed.

Six months had gone by and they were doing great!  They had lost 100 lbs. and went down quite a few sizes as well.  I had mentioned to them how wonderful they looked, and a broad smile would come across their face filled with pride and joy.  I  was so happy for them for taking control of their weight and staying true to their journey.  After their eighth month on the journey, a mutual friend came by to see me and told me that our friend was losing hope and had become discouraged.  He had asked me to check up on our friend, for he feared our friend was beginning to gain weight once again.

I thought to myself why???? They have come this far, why are they setting themselves up to fail again?  Every chance I had to interact with them, I would ask how are you feeling?  What are you eating and drinking?  In the beginning of their journey, they had been extremely strict to the point of starvation.  They were eating only jello and tuna fish.  My belief is that they went to the other extreme, and when their hunger began to creep up on them, so began the cycle of "insanity".   The old patterns and attitudes were brought to the surface once again.  I've tried to contact my friend, and reach out to them before it's too late.  Once is a mistake, but twice is a habit.

The lessons were not learned the first time, and unfortunately being repeated for a second time.  They will not have another chance if they don't wake up.  I'm very concerned for their health and well-being.  They are too young to have a life filled with no hope, no future, no life.  I realize that I cannot save them, they can only save themselves.   I feel helpless to just sit back and watch this person destroy what they worked so hard to become up to this point.

Perhaps they have reached a plateau and feel it's not working.  I remember during the first quarter of my journey, the weight was coming off at a rapid rate.  The joy and anticipation of standing on the scale and seeing the numbers keep moving downward, was absolutely a natural high to feel!  Then about the same time at approximately eight months, the scale didn't budge....I was puzzled?  Why haven't I've lost more weight?  Was I taking in enough protein to meet my daily requirement?  Hydrating...did I hydrate enough to flush the excess fluids out of my body?  Did I need to rev up my exercise routine and make it more challenging?

One week passed by and still the scale wouldn't budge.  The second week passed by, and there still was no change on the scale.  By the third week, the scale began to move once again, but slower than it had in the past.  At least it was beginning to move in the downward direction again.  I pushed myself harder with my workout routine, focused on my caloric and protein intake to the exact number, and hydrated more than I had been just to trick my body and get it functioning again as a fat-burning machine!  If I had given up during that period, I would have never reached my goal, which was clear in sight.  I made sure I would follow-through for once in my life to finish what I've started.

The moral of this story is to NEVER GIVE UP!  Yesterday is gone and we've learned from our mistakes, tomorrow gives us another chance to begin once again, and today we can reach our personal goal that we set out to do.  I am going to contact my friend and share my experience with them as I just did with all of you.

May your journey remain a successful path that gives you the best quality of life that you truly deserve!

Linda Hegedus,©

The Power of One

 

 

 

As we reflect upon the memorable moments during our weight-loss journey, we realize that each day has given us an opportunity to learn.  Perhaps one new encounter along the way is put in our life's path, here to teach us more than we could ever have anticipated.  Is it the one new lecture we've attended to educate us further so we remain on the right path?

One is a small number with a strong meaning.  One person made a major impact in my life.  As a result, it has created a major shift in my perspective, and changed the way I will think forever.  One day I'll be healthy and fit.  One day I'll succeed in a career that I'm passionate about.  One day at a time will take care of itself.  One kind word made all of the difference.  One sincere and warm smile gave me hope and happiness.  One word of encouragement gave me the confidence to feel I can do anything I set my mind to and more!  A moment in time, the day of significance.

As we achieve our dreams and aspirations, we evolve to a higher awareness.  We are whole, we are one!

Linda Hegedus, ©

Feeding Time Have We Moved On?

Good question.  Have we finally become disconnected with the feeling of feeding on our emotions; since we’ve changed our lifestyle?  Have we finally taken this journey onward, or have we reverted back to seek out comfort destructively?  How do we channel this energy into a productive and inspirational experience?  When do we finally decide to be open to on-going changes and accept what we cannot change, but learn to adapt to change with a different perspective?

It’s our human survival that motivates us to become open to our potential; our reconnection with our soul.  In essence, our need to feel expansion and elevation of our personal spiritual path. We may have strayed away from a force that we cannot explain, and don’t quite understand, but something keeps tugging at our deepest core, and we reconnect by getting in touch with that aspect of ourselves.  We feel peace and a sense of calm.

Eating is no longer a past-time event.  Its meaning in our lives’ has a  different vibe.  Now that we’ve embraced our spirit, we feel a different level of love.  We’re calm and accepting of our true feelings that we denied ourselves to feel.  We didn’t want to feel.  Feeling was a great risk to us.  The pain was too immense to accept.  We had a belief system that feelings and pain went hand and hand.  There’s no getting away from that unless we kept our feelings concealed and locked away within our body.

It was our personal “safe” to insulate the cold cruel realities from cutting into our hearts.  The larger we became, the more we felt protected from the outer world.  It was a safe haven, our shelter, our own reality.  We created this world in order to avoid pain.  The only pain that was inflicted was self-inflicted.  No one made us commit this act, but us.  We are accountable for our actions, and know better now.  It’s not so bad after all…that is to feel our feelings.  The new sensation and freedom of our heart’s center.  It can recapture the past.  When we finally come to terms with the past, we finally release that moment and channel ourselves to a new moment in time.  We put the past where it belongs, in the past.  We don’t live there anymore, and we haven’t lived there for quite a while.  We know better now, therefore, we’ll do better.

The new day and each day ahead encourages us that life’s possibilities are endless and full of surprises.  Our spirit will strengthen as we keep love and compassion around us knowing that now we’re free, we’re finally free.

Linda Hegedus,©

To Binge or Not to Binge

When you were obese, did you find yourself binging a lot? What was the trigger that made you want to binge?  Did you have a disagreement with someone that left you feeling off balance?  Was it an attack on your character that made you feel misunderstood?    Were you deliberately avoided and singled out as a target for others to take their best shots towards you in order to elevate their own beliefs?

Binging was a way of life for me during my 14 consistent years of obesity, and when I decided to delve into this place of subconscious self-destruction, I would eat anything and everything in sight of my conscious mind.  Burying the pain, disbelief, and sorrow that were too hard to bring to the surface.  It was a way of self-preservation and feeding the soul and body with love, comfort, and silence.  If only for a moment, the feelings were buried as the food kept coming until I felt safe once again.  On a deeper level, it was a way of saving ourselves from feeling anything. 

It was a way out and food was a way in.  The more I would binge, the better I felt.  Food was giving me peace and joy by entering my body to calm myself down, if only for a moment.  If I didn’t feel immediate relief from this ritual, I would continue to binge at another location, which would offer me a place to focus on my time with my habit and enjoying it in a private setting.  Most of us probably binged in private, where no one could see what we were doing.  It was a secret that only we knew about and food was not going to betray us in revealing this time we had together.  Our friend was there through it all.  We could always look forward and count the moments when we would be together for this event.

As a result, after we had awakened from our experience, we often had a hangover.  During our hangover, shame followed knowing we repeated our ritual with much regret afterwards.  We came down from our high and the feelings came back even worse than before since we didn’t deal with them at the moment when we had the chance.    The cycle continued, and the same result kept occurring.  Our weight numbers would escalate to new and greater heights, and our need to binge also escalated as well.  It took more food, more privacy, and more events to keep us stimulated by our ritual.  The never-ending self-destruction was at its peak.

Until one day we learned.  Once we became healthy, reborn, and aware, we were beginning to understand why we reacted this way.  I met a person who is eight years out on their journey, and had gained not only all of their weight back, but also became larger than before their initial surgery.  They told me that their old behaviors never left them, and each year after their weight-loss surgery, they slowly became the person they used to be by not having closure on what made them obese to begin with during their life.

As each day passed, they forgot about self-care, self-love, and self-preservation.  They forgot about making time to eat healthy, and committing to a workable exercise routine that would keep them on track.  They forgot the lessons they've learned while they were on the straight and narrow path of wellness. 

After my conversation with this person, it made me aware that we can all have this happen to us if we’re not conscience about our behavior towards negative encounters, our emotional triggers, and remaining accountable for our actions especially about our eating lifestyle.  Perhaps this conversation was a message to me that it can and does happen.  We have the choice to take our success, and lead others’ to continue as victors and not victims.  We have a choice of what we decide to eat and when we decide to exercise.  Every day we have the opportunity to remain fit.  What’s your decision today?  To give into your old habits, or has your new habits become a way of life for the rest of your life?  It’s up to us to decide.  Let’s remember where we were, and where we want to be.

Linda Hegedus, ©

 

Making A Difference

 

My life has significantly changed for the better!  I have reached my personal weight-loss goal!  Each day as I interact with others, who are struggling with their weight as well, I can offer hope, encouragement, and inspiration so they can find a place to begin their personal weight-loss journey.  When I lead by example on my food choices and vitamin intake, it can become contagious to those who need assistance in their daily food choices. I have become a mentor to them as I manage my stressors in a more effective and constructive manner, and not turn to food for the solution.

I've experienced firsthand the impact I've made in other's lives when I share my experiences, and give them the necessary enthusiasm to make wiser choices when it comes to their own food choices.  Many people I encounter eat fast food and drink a lot of soda on a daily basis.  These individuals never feel good physically, and have health issues as a result of their daily habits.  They are on the path of destruction not only physically, but mentally as well.  I remember never eating breakfast, lunch, or hydrating throughout the day, but coming home and consuming over 4000 calories until bedtime.  This pattern became a destructive habit, which I couldn't turn around on my own.  Now that I eat every two hours and hydrate all day long, other people around me are observing my food choices and also making wiser food choices as a result of my success.

I keep a picture posted on my refrigerator of my former self to remind me of what I can easily become if I don't remain disciplined and committed to my new lifestyle. I offer support and guidance to others, who ask me what they can eat during the day in order to feel better and become healthier.  There's so many people around me who make excuses and believe they are content with their food choices.  As I see them decline in their health due to their addiction to sugar and high-fat diets, I see their moods swing from one extreme to the other.  They are seeking a better way, but don't know where to begin.

I speak to others often about my trials and tribulations during the many years of my morbidly obese existence, and how my life was in a downward spiral.  Seeing is believing.  When I tell my stories of the struggles I've had physically and mentally with my weight, it often ignites a spark and gives people hope and enlightenment that they can begin to heal within and move into a better way of life for themselves.  I'm on a mission to reach out and assist as many people as I possibly can to motivate and inspire them to believe there's light at the end of the obesity tunnel.  There are second chances, and they no longer have to feel stuck anymore.

It's very rewarding to me to give of myself to others, who are seeking a healthier lifestyle.  I was given the gift of weight loss, and I'm giving back my time and experiences so I can make a difference to those who need assistance and support.  I have found my place in life and will remain there for years to come!

Be Well!

Linda Hegedus,©