With Every Challenge We Become the Person We're Meant to Be

Each day as I live in my new body, I must be held accountable for my actions towards food.  I have to continue to be mindful of my food choices and ask myself three questions: Is this food beneficial?  Does it contain sufficient protein?  Am I really hungry, or just want to eat?

When my journey began, I was losing at a rapid rate due to a high protein, complex carb, and exercise routine.  Now my goal weight has taken me to a stabilizing place, where I must remain in a maintain mode in order to not fall into old ways of thinking and being too much in a comfort zone that I'm not aware of the choices I have to make regarding my food intake.

I have to take in at least 1200 calories per day to maintain.  Every item of food that I choose to eat on that given day will have to be a wise choice, in order not to begin to gain weight like we're told that people fall into that trap.  I cannot imagine nor want to ever experience that feeling of a ball and chain weighing me down.  Taking those 200 additional pounds wherever I go and expecting to have a happy and productive life.

I get preoccupied with weighing myself in the a.m. and also in the p.m.  As a morbidly obese person, I avoided the scale at all costs, and never ever dared myself to step on it and have a reality check on my size.  Instead it was easier to avoid that part of my life, and not pay too much attention to the number that was escalating before my eyes.  Now I want to be held accountable for my weight and in order to stay in check, and know that I'm still abiding by the "bariatric eating" rules, I monitor very closely the scale and make note if there's any adjustment in my daily food intake I need to re-evaluate.

This is by far the biggest mountain to climb in my personal weight-loss journey because I've never learned how to remain in a much thinner body for too long.  I feel a bit uncertain, but confident that if I keep my judgment clear on my choices, and remain mindful on my daily habits, I will remain on this journey as a person who can stay on the path that is non-destructive to my well-being.

I know not every day I will make the right choice, but I will be determined and forgive myself if I decide to have a food that's not very beneficial, I will make up for those calories through an intense workout.  I have decided to choose a day in the week, where I can have a dessert.  But only one day.  The funny thing is that I cannot finish a small bowl of chili and beans with some cheese.  When I was served a dessert, I only took a few bites and I was satisfied.  I'm not indulging like I used to so that's progress.

Every day I'm having a better understanding about myself and taking my steps slowly towards a long-term way of life.

Linda Hegedus, ©