Never Give Up

I met with a friend of mine, who had weight-loss surgery eight years' ago, and had gained all of their weight back just to become larger than they've ever been before.  I had advised my friend to find out about having a revised surgical procedure done.  They had taken heed to my advice since they've seen how far I've come, and had another weight-loss procedure performed.

Six months had gone by and they were doing great!  They had lost 100 lbs. and went down quite a few sizes as well.  I had mentioned to them how wonderful they looked, and a broad smile would come across their face filled with pride and joy.  I  was so happy for them for taking control of their weight and staying true to their journey.  After their eighth month on the journey, a mutual friend came by to see me and told me that our friend was losing hope and had become discouraged.  He had asked me to check up on our friend, for he feared our friend was beginning to gain weight once again.

I thought to myself why???? They have come this far, why are they setting themselves up to fail again?  Every chance I had to interact with them, I would ask how are you feeling?  What are you eating and drinking?  In the beginning of their journey, they had been extremely strict to the point of starvation.  They were eating only jello and tuna fish.  My belief is that they went to the other extreme, and when their hunger began to creep up on them, so began the cycle of "insanity".   The old patterns and attitudes were brought to the surface once again.  I've tried to contact my friend, and reach out to them before it's too late.  Once is a mistake, but twice is a habit.

The lessons were not learned the first time, and unfortunately being repeated for a second time.  They will not have another chance if they don't wake up.  I'm very concerned for their health and well-being.  They are too young to have a life filled with no hope, no future, no life.  I realize that I cannot save them, they can only save themselves.   I feel helpless to just sit back and watch this person destroy what they worked so hard to become up to this point.

Perhaps they have reached a plateau and feel it's not working.  I remember during the first quarter of my journey, the weight was coming off at a rapid rate.  The joy and anticipation of standing on the scale and seeing the numbers keep moving downward, was absolutely a natural high to feel!  Then about the same time at approximately eight months, the scale didn't budge....I was puzzled?  Why haven't I've lost more weight?  Was I taking in enough protein to meet my daily requirement?  Hydrating...did I hydrate enough to flush the excess fluids out of my body?  Did I need to rev up my exercise routine and make it more challenging?

One week passed by and still the scale wouldn't budge.  The second week passed by, and there still was no change on the scale.  By the third week, the scale began to move once again, but slower than it had in the past.  At least it was beginning to move in the downward direction again.  I pushed myself harder with my workout routine, focused on my caloric and protein intake to the exact number, and hydrated more than I had been just to trick my body and get it functioning again as a fat-burning machine!  If I had given up during that period, I would have never reached my goal, which was clear in sight.  I made sure I would follow-through for once in my life to finish what I've started.

The moral of this story is to NEVER GIVE UP!  Yesterday is gone and we've learned from our mistakes, tomorrow gives us another chance to begin once again, and today we can reach our personal goal that we set out to do.  I am going to contact my friend and share my experience with them as I just did with all of you.

May your journey remain a successful path that gives you the best quality of life that you truly deserve!

Linda Hegedus,©

The Power of One

 

 

 

As we reflect upon the memorable moments during our weight-loss journey, we realize that each day has given us an opportunity to learn.  Perhaps one new encounter along the way is put in our life's path, here to teach us more than we could ever have anticipated.  Is it the one new lecture we've attended to educate us further so we remain on the right path?

One is a small number with a strong meaning.  One person made a major impact in my life.  As a result, it has created a major shift in my perspective, and changed the way I will think forever.  One day I'll be healthy and fit.  One day I'll succeed in a career that I'm passionate about.  One day at a time will take care of itself.  One kind word made all of the difference.  One sincere and warm smile gave me hope and happiness.  One word of encouragement gave me the confidence to feel I can do anything I set my mind to and more!  A moment in time, the day of significance.

As we achieve our dreams and aspirations, we evolve to a higher awareness.  We are whole, we are one!

Linda Hegedus, ©

Feeding Time Have We Moved On?

Good question.  Have we finally become disconnected with the feeling of feeding on our emotions; since we’ve changed our lifestyle?  Have we finally taken this journey onward, or have we reverted back to seek out comfort destructively?  How do we channel this energy into a productive and inspirational experience?  When do we finally decide to be open to on-going changes and accept what we cannot change, but learn to adapt to change with a different perspective?

It’s our human survival that motivates us to become open to our potential; our reconnection with our soul.  In essence, our need to feel expansion and elevation of our personal spiritual path. We may have strayed away from a force that we cannot explain, and don’t quite understand, but something keeps tugging at our deepest core, and we reconnect by getting in touch with that aspect of ourselves.  We feel peace and a sense of calm.

Eating is no longer a past-time event.  Its meaning in our lives’ has a  different vibe.  Now that we’ve embraced our spirit, we feel a different level of love.  We’re calm and accepting of our true feelings that we denied ourselves to feel.  We didn’t want to feel.  Feeling was a great risk to us.  The pain was too immense to accept.  We had a belief system that feelings and pain went hand and hand.  There’s no getting away from that unless we kept our feelings concealed and locked away within our body.

It was our personal “safe” to insulate the cold cruel realities from cutting into our hearts.  The larger we became, the more we felt protected from the outer world.  It was a safe haven, our shelter, our own reality.  We created this world in order to avoid pain.  The only pain that was inflicted was self-inflicted.  No one made us commit this act, but us.  We are accountable for our actions, and know better now.  It’s not so bad after all…that is to feel our feelings.  The new sensation and freedom of our heart’s center.  It can recapture the past.  When we finally come to terms with the past, we finally release that moment and channel ourselves to a new moment in time.  We put the past where it belongs, in the past.  We don’t live there anymore, and we haven’t lived there for quite a while.  We know better now, therefore, we’ll do better.

The new day and each day ahead encourages us that life’s possibilities are endless and full of surprises.  Our spirit will strengthen as we keep love and compassion around us knowing that now we’re free, we’re finally free.

Linda Hegedus,©

To Binge or Not to Binge

When you were obese, did you find yourself binging a lot? What was the trigger that made you want to binge?  Did you have a disagreement with someone that left you feeling off balance?  Was it an attack on your character that made you feel misunderstood?    Were you deliberately avoided and singled out as a target for others to take their best shots towards you in order to elevate their own beliefs?

Binging was a way of life for me during my 14 consistent years of obesity, and when I decided to delve into this place of subconscious self-destruction, I would eat anything and everything in sight of my conscious mind.  Burying the pain, disbelief, and sorrow that were too hard to bring to the surface.  It was a way of self-preservation and feeding the soul and body with love, comfort, and silence.  If only for a moment, the feelings were buried as the food kept coming until I felt safe once again.  On a deeper level, it was a way of saving ourselves from feeling anything. 

It was a way out and food was a way in.  The more I would binge, the better I felt.  Food was giving me peace and joy by entering my body to calm myself down, if only for a moment.  If I didn’t feel immediate relief from this ritual, I would continue to binge at another location, which would offer me a place to focus on my time with my habit and enjoying it in a private setting.  Most of us probably binged in private, where no one could see what we were doing.  It was a secret that only we knew about and food was not going to betray us in revealing this time we had together.  Our friend was there through it all.  We could always look forward and count the moments when we would be together for this event.

As a result, after we had awakened from our experience, we often had a hangover.  During our hangover, shame followed knowing we repeated our ritual with much regret afterwards.  We came down from our high and the feelings came back even worse than before since we didn’t deal with them at the moment when we had the chance.    The cycle continued, and the same result kept occurring.  Our weight numbers would escalate to new and greater heights, and our need to binge also escalated as well.  It took more food, more privacy, and more events to keep us stimulated by our ritual.  The never-ending self-destruction was at its peak.

Until one day we learned.  Once we became healthy, reborn, and aware, we were beginning to understand why we reacted this way.  I met a person who is eight years out on their journey, and had gained not only all of their weight back, but also became larger than before their initial surgery.  They told me that their old behaviors never left them, and each year after their weight-loss surgery, they slowly became the person they used to be by not having closure on what made them obese to begin with during their life.

As each day passed, they forgot about self-care, self-love, and self-preservation.  They forgot about making time to eat healthy, and committing to a workable exercise routine that would keep them on track.  They forgot the lessons they've learned while they were on the straight and narrow path of wellness. 

After my conversation with this person, it made me aware that we can all have this happen to us if we’re not conscience about our behavior towards negative encounters, our emotional triggers, and remaining accountable for our actions especially about our eating lifestyle.  Perhaps this conversation was a message to me that it can and does happen.  We have the choice to take our success, and lead others’ to continue as victors and not victims.  We have a choice of what we decide to eat and when we decide to exercise.  Every day we have the opportunity to remain fit.  What’s your decision today?  To give into your old habits, or has your new habits become a way of life for the rest of your life?  It’s up to us to decide.  Let’s remember where we were, and where we want to be.

Linda Hegedus, ©

 

Making A Difference

 

My life has significantly changed for the better!  I have reached my personal weight-loss goal!  Each day as I interact with others, who are struggling with their weight as well, I can offer hope, encouragement, and inspiration so they can find a place to begin their personal weight-loss journey.  When I lead by example on my food choices and vitamin intake, it can become contagious to those who need assistance in their daily food choices. I have become a mentor to them as I manage my stressors in a more effective and constructive manner, and not turn to food for the solution.

I've experienced firsthand the impact I've made in other's lives when I share my experiences, and give them the necessary enthusiasm to make wiser choices when it comes to their own food choices.  Many people I encounter eat fast food and drink a lot of soda on a daily basis.  These individuals never feel good physically, and have health issues as a result of their daily habits.  They are on the path of destruction not only physically, but mentally as well.  I remember never eating breakfast, lunch, or hydrating throughout the day, but coming home and consuming over 4000 calories until bedtime.  This pattern became a destructive habit, which I couldn't turn around on my own.  Now that I eat every two hours and hydrate all day long, other people around me are observing my food choices and also making wiser food choices as a result of my success.

I keep a picture posted on my refrigerator of my former self to remind me of what I can easily become if I don't remain disciplined and committed to my new lifestyle. I offer support and guidance to others, who ask me what they can eat during the day in order to feel better and become healthier.  There's so many people around me who make excuses and believe they are content with their food choices.  As I see them decline in their health due to their addiction to sugar and high-fat diets, I see their moods swing from one extreme to the other.  They are seeking a better way, but don't know where to begin.

I speak to others often about my trials and tribulations during the many years of my morbidly obese existence, and how my life was in a downward spiral.  Seeing is believing.  When I tell my stories of the struggles I've had physically and mentally with my weight, it often ignites a spark and gives people hope and enlightenment that they can begin to heal within and move into a better way of life for themselves.  I'm on a mission to reach out and assist as many people as I possibly can to motivate and inspire them to believe there's light at the end of the obesity tunnel.  There are second chances, and they no longer have to feel stuck anymore.

It's very rewarding to me to give of myself to others, who are seeking a healthier lifestyle.  I was given the gift of weight loss, and I'm giving back my time and experiences so I can make a difference to those who need assistance and support.  I have found my place in life and will remain there for years to come!

Be Well!

Linda Hegedus,©

A Piece of the Puzzle

Placing the pieces of our own puzzle can be quite an adventure.  Sometimes we place a piece that does not “ fit” into that space.  When we turn this particular piece, in many different directions, to “fit” into this allotted space,  it just doesn’t“ fit”.  We may attempt to have this piece” fit” at least several times, but it will not go into the place we want it to” fit”.  There are similarities to the shape and size we’ve chosen, but still it will not connect to the other pieces.

Life seems to unfold that way as well.  When we make a personal effort to break the barriers and fit ourselves into a place where we don’t belong, it can be a painful experience.  Hasn’t our obesity taught us that when we didn’t fit into that place, but tried to remain there even though it was not a good “fit” for us?

The health issues we’ve endured by our own hands and ways of thinking?  We were forcing ourselves to be put into a place where we never belonged.    When we found another place, a place of value, the remaining pieces began to “fit” into place, and with ease….there it was all the time, a place without self-resistance.  The transition became smooth, and it felt right within our souls to feel “fit” and at home.  An abundance of comfort came from within, and the truth emerged!

When resistance repeats itself over and over again, then it’s time to get moving and take action!  Perhaps the struggle is part of the process of self-realization.  In order to move to the place of non-resistance, there’s no forcing, but finally falling to a soft place of love, honesty, and compassion.  When there’s a sense of calm within us, the puzzle piece had found its way into the right direction from the inner-compass.  Resistance has taught us pain, doubt, and hopelessness.  When we’ve finally realized after many attempts of placing a piece where it never belonged, we moved and had taken action to be where it will “fit” it feels right, it feels good, it feels positive.

No pain, no resistance, just joy, comfort, love, hope, trust, faith, courage, finding, resolving, discovering, becoming, growing, living, acknowledging, accepting, teaching, reaching, encouraging, enlightening, inspiring, and it’s a perfect “fit”!

Linda Hegedus©

Breaking Old Habits

Breaking old habits are hard to conquer at times due to a lifetime of creating a pattern of self-destructive attitudes and actions that can impose a burdensome life ahead.

It’s not easy to break these old habits, you’ve taken a lifetime to acquire, and then overnight you’re going to have to change the way you look before you leap mentality.  It’s a day to day experience in its own right of your overall well-being becomes reawakened to excel into a new and unknown dimension.

For the first time, you are learning how to remain in a place that you’ve only made short visits to, but not for the long haul.  This time it’s about remaining in our personal truth.  Where we are coming back to ourselves and inter-connecting with the mind and soul.  A process is the best way to take this transformation onward.  We are transforming physically and becoming a person who is taking action on their overall life as a whole.

These changes are taking place because we look different to the world, and some of the reactions can make us re-examine their place in our life.   I lost 200 lbs. of emotional baggage, and since it’s released in its physical existence, our emotions don’t know where to go since the baggage has nowhere else to go, but out!  This is an emotional challenge since the physical being and emotional being are trying to be in harmony for the final piece of our own puzzle.

This is a learning, feeling, accepting, and acknowledging our surroundings experience, which will take us to a step of a higher plane.  Feel it, learn from the feeling, and move through it.  Move forward!

Linda Hegedus©

Water is Life

Water is essential for not only feeling better, but also keeping your body hydrated.  It is important for your overall health.  Every day I fill up a container that indicates exactly the amount of water I require, which is 74 ounces per day.  I meet this daily goal knowing that my body is benefiting from this as well.  I buy a bag of lemons
each week that I slice into small pieces to add to my water container.  It gives my water enough flavor while being beneficial to clearing out the toxins that are stored in my body. 

Since it's been quite warm outside, I am drinking more frequently to ensure that I don't feel heat exhaustion, or light headedness since I keep busy cleaning and maintaining my gardens and my yard.  I feel lethargic if I don't drink enough water during the day, and usually I begin my day with a tall glass of iced lemon water to ensure my internal organs function at their very best, and also it keeps me regular without having to use a laxative or stool softener.  The benefits are tremendous and you'll feel better if you can be mindful of your water intake.

Our bodies are comprised of approximately 80% of water; therefore, we need water to be at our best.  I think, feel, and move much better when I'm well-hydrated.  Studies also show the more weight you’re carrying, the more water you should drink.  As you move forward on your weight-loss journey, be mindful about your water intake.  For optimum results, water is your tool for success!  When we were obese, water was not one of our greatest allies, but has become our priority first and foremost. Now that we’re aware of the role it plays not only in the beginning of our journey, but for the rest of our lives as well.

So let’s lift up our water glasses, containers, and bottles, and make a toast to incorporating water into our daily routine.  Salute! 

Linda Hegedus ©

The Memories How Bittersweet

Today I was talking to a friend about the changes I've been through emotionally on this journey.  For 14 years of my morbidly obese existence the memories still arise, and some memories were not very happy ones to recall.  Even though it's almost been three years' of living in my new and improved body, and  I love what I see looking back at me now, there are still memories of my former life that remind me why I must remain where I am today.

The neighborhood where I reside is quiet and peaceful.  Most of my neighbors are friendly and always obliged to lend a helping hand when needed.  Some people moved away while others remain.  During the morbidly obese years, I used to sit on my porch and plant myself on my rocking chair watching everyone garden, ride their bikes, and play basketball on the street.  Oh how I wanted to shoot a basket, but I couldn’t move, never mind jump, or take a lay-up shot.  My deep passion for gardening had diminished since I couldn’t walk, bend, stand, or kneel.  My female neighbors would call upon my husband to give them a hand, since their spouse’s were not home. My husband would eagerly walk over and be there to put up a fan, or move some furniture.  He would be gone for a good hour or so, while we had company at our house.  If I needed their husband to assist me, I had to wait, or they had somewhere to go and would return later, or their wives needed them to be home. 

My husband and I would sit on our front porch watching the summer skies.  As we were enjoying the weather, the neighborhood ladies would walk by in their skimpy bathing suits as they protruded their chests outward and had a switch to their walk.   They would extend a friendly hello to my husband and begin a conversation with him as they completely ignored me even though I was sitting there along side of him.  At parties we’ve hosted my divorced female friends would come over and hang all over my husband and take his hand, to follow them to the side of our house, so they could confide about a personal matter.  This happened quite frequently.  I realize now for them it was comfortable to be around me, due to my appearance, and I felt they showed no respect or consideration for my feelings.  One lady friend went to the extent to push me aside while I was standing next to my husband, and rubbed up against him to see if he would actually make an advance towards her.  My husband is an honorable man, and felt uneasy about this, and as I watched, I couldn’t help but feel helpless.  The first time my husband attended one of my company parties, my co-workers never met him, and upon his arrival they looked at him in awe and amazement that I had a handsome man by my side.  One of my co-workers  came up to me and told me that people were surprised that I was married to such a handsome thin man.  I thought to myself, I was not obese when we were dating or the early years of our marriage.

At the bus stop where I would bring my daughter to every morning, the children would tease her about my size, and it would upset her since she loved me unconditionally and didn’t understand why her school mates would tease her about me.  I told her to pay no attention to their comments, and that beauty comes from within.  I felt ashamed and saddened that my daughter had to endure the sins of her mother.  The family dynamics were strained by my obesity.  I realized my husband and daughter were facing challenges due to my outer appearance, and it made me feel frustrated and concerned.  With these intense feelings of anger and resentment that were building up inside of me, it fueled my desire to change my life, and I made it to the other side, but not without an internal fight with the demons that were in me for so long.

Now I walk up and down my street, and the same neighborhood woman, who paraded by run away with their heads down when they see me coming.  Now their husbands approach me and tell me how amazing I look and strike up a conversation with me every time they see me.  The divorcee’s who used to attend my parties never come anymore, and don’t ask me over either.  My coworkers, who made comments to me about my size are now threatened by my new appearance and upset that I am no longer the largest person in the crowd, but the smallest one.  The school mates of my daughter don’t recognize me since they haven’t seen me for so long and ask my daughter who’s that woman?   It’s interesting to see how people react when there’s no more “obese person” around.  I have surpassed all of them, and now it’s my turn to reap the rewards of my success.  As each day presents itself, we continue to learn and grow, and the process of elimination is taking place.   As the door begins to close on many of these past and unhealthy relationships, new doors are beginning to crack open to more healthier and meaningful relationships. 

Linda Hegedus©

The Final Outcome

If you begin to treat your body with kindness, your body will be kind to you. Your body has a chance to repair itself, and transform into a vibrant vessel.  Each one of us has a passion to fulfill, and our mind will take us to a place of contentment and success!

My body feels alive and complete. When we focus on a goal, a destination to work towards, the outcome and final product will be one of pride and self-accomplishment. What an uplifting and grateful feeling it brings to our souls. We have the persistence and determination it takes to accomplish anything! It's a wonderful and uplifting feeling!

Each day brings our self-worth soaring and confirming to ourselves that if you believe, you can achieve! Anything that takes a lot of hard work, commitment, and time will pay off with many many returns! If our goals came easy to us, we wouldn't strive or be motivated to improve ourselves. In time and only time is what we have in the moment will take us into our new reality.

The reality being we are whole once again! Our mind, body, and spirit are as one united in joy and excitement! Each day is anew and we will make the best of the day we're given. We are free from the armor we wore for so long, and now we are revealed for whom we really are and it's awesome!  

Be well!

Linda Hegedus©

 

330 pounds

130 pounds

I lost a total of 200 pounds

by having weight-loss surgery

and maintained a healthy lifestyle.

Now It's Gone

 When I was morbidly obese my feet would swell and hurt so bad.  The anguish…..

Each step I took was filled with pain.  Even climbing the stairs made me insane!  The anguish……

I ate enough in one meal to feed a family of five.  When I would wake up in the morning, with a food hangover, I barely felt alive.  The anguish……

My legs were very large and I always had a rash.  That kept me from walking to take out the trash.  The anguish…….

Anytime I had the chance to eat, I would devour everything in sight.  It began in the morning, into the afternoon, and well into the night.  The anguish…….

Instead of abstaining oh the weight I’m gaining!!!!!  My knees and ankles…oh they are complaining, especially on days when it was raining!  The anguish…….

The anguish is gone, I reached my goal, the anguish is over and now I’m whole! 

Now it’s gone….and I look for stairwells with glee now it’s gone…and I can live free, now it’s gone….

Each movement and exercise fills me with life, cause now it’s gone….no more strife, cause now it’s gone…

Every food choice I make is healthy and good, cause now it’s gone, I feel alive and great just the way I knew I would, cause now it’s gone….

When I wear a new outfit, I wear it with pride, cause now it’s gone… there’s more of me that’s appealing, and I no longer need to hide, cause now it’s gone….

I walk with my shoulders back, cause now it’s gone…..and my head held up high, cause now it’s gone, there is no more poor me with a great big sigh, cause now it’s gone…..

Life has a new purpose with happiness and fun, cause now it’s gone, and I’m excited to go swimming, and lay out in the sun, cause now it’s gone….

No more running away, cause now it’s gone, but a grateful and meaningful life will stay, cause now it’s gone….

Linda Hegedus, ©

Five-Year Milestone

We have established a temporary home for our mind, body, and soul to reside in for a while; as we've taken the necessary measures to ensure a healthier lifestyle.  During my weight-loss journey I found it was easy to acclimate to adapting healthier food options and remaining faithful to this new lifestyle.  Never in my wildest dreams would I falter back into my old habits.  Not me!  I worked very hard for the first 1.5 years after bariatric surgery to become fit and lean.  I admired my new look and loved the way I felt.  Every day I would wake up determined and motivated to remaining and maintaining the new me.

All the years’ so far living on this Earth, I’ve never maintained my weight for a long period of time.  The longest I’ve succeeded at keeping my weight off was approximately two years.  After having weight-loss surgery, I found it was easier to keep my triggers and urges at bay, and remain loyal and focused on losing and maintaining the weight loss.  April 4th was the day that began my weight-loss journey.  I just recently celebrated my fifth year since the surgery, and I have kept 92.5% of the weight off.  I had only gained 15 pounds from my original goal weight, which was much needed in order to look and feel healthy.  People were coming up to me in fear that I looked anorexic and lost my womanly appearance.  It had taken a while for me to accept my new look without being so self-critical about my appearance.

I’ve finally embraced this new standard for myself, and feel I’ve accomplished and maintained this weight for my overall health and well being.

 

Linda Hegedus,©